wildest dreams
by Alazia
Summary: "I would like to make a toast for this bastard right here. Although you got the job all the way across the globe before me, I'm still proud of your stupid ass!" Because she knew it was ending before it even began and Sakura loved Sasuke, she knew. But she had to love herself first. / AU.


wildest dreams.

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She heard the slide window open and close behind her, but the view was so beautiful she didn't want to remove her eyes, not even for a second. It wasn't like she needed to look to know who it was anyways: his scent and his aura and the way she knew he walked… she was certain.

He stopped at her side, but didn't face the view. _Wasn't he always like that though?, unable to see beauty before his eyes? choosing to look over it? _

She sighed.

"Will you remember me?" he heard her asking quietly, elbows crossed on the balcony rail. Standing on a nice dress, staring at the sunset, posture relaxed. Inside the party kept on going with the same old friends that insisted on leaving always too late.

"Aa".

His eyes were closed, head crooked to the side opposite from her. She looked at him: tall and handsome as hell wearing a white button up shirt and black tie. He glanced back at her: red lips and rosy cheeks, too many glasses of champagne it seemed.

And then he remembered.

_Long legs tangled with his, pink hair against the black of his sheets, that dark shade of green when she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore because he made her feel so _so _much and then- _

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It'd been the worst Monday ever: her alarm didn't go off on time, making her late for her shift thus not having time for either make up or coffee. Fifteen minutes later there were no available cabs on the street- and then she was _thirty _minutes late and Shizune looked at her funny-_ she was on a bad mood already_.

Lunch came around and she found herself in a better mood, morning all forgotten. A fellow coworker asked to join her, she smiled polite, _of course you can sit with me_, and made small chat. _How is your wife?, how are the kids doing at school?, sure she remembered how mean other kids could be_. Her phone rang. "I'm sorry, this will only take a minute" she apologized; he smiled and frown at his extremely green salad.

"Naruto-kun, how nice to hear from you right in the middle of lunch" she greeted her friend.

"Sakura, I'm sorry I have to be the one to say this to you…" she couldn't remember the last time she heard him talk in such a serious tone.

Back at the table, the man she was sharing her lunch with looked at her with worried eyes. _Poor thing, something really bad must've happened._ She looked like she was going to be sick or pass out at any moment. He chewed on his tasteless lettuce, and watched attentively at his coworker shaky form.

He hoped everything was okay.

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She heard the knock on her door. _Again. _

_Go the fuck away._

"Sakura, I know you are in there, I called the hospital already …" She sighed, it was impossible to keep Ino away; she could be a pain in the ass when she wanted to.

She cursed, got up from her position in front of her TV and made her way to the door to open it. Ino took her in: pale face, wrinkled clothes; sullen eyes, expressionless face. _Sakura… _

Neither of them said anything as Sakura felt slim arms hug her frame. It didn't take long. "Sweetie I'm so sorry…" the blonde whispered. The woman with the pink hair couldn't hold back anymore, tears started forming at the back of her eyes and she didn't stop the sobs- _her heart was breaking into tiny pieces. _

_Please let it be a dream._

she thought: heaven can't help me now.

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**3:43 AM, five months ago. **

The night was cold and the windows were wide open. Only one witness, the full moon, watched the lovers silently.

"No one has to know what we do, you know?" she said mostly to herself, but she knew he was listening. _He always did._

His clothes were all over her room; his hand ran lazily through her hair while the other rested on her lower back, she could hear his steady heartbeat from her position on top.

Because she knew he had more important things to take care than her -_and them-_, he had just a little too much shit to work on. There was no denying he was utterly messed up and he was _so_ lost, _and she yearned to help him, to heal him; so much it hurts _her_. _

"Sakura" his voice, a familiar sound, so close and yet so distant. Was he there, right there with her? –what was he thinking? _what was he dreaming of?_

He flipped them over in a blink; her back pressed against the soft mattress and he was looking at her like _that again. _Wet kisses on her neck, she closed her eyes; his fingers played with her nipple in a slow sensual motion; and she could feel it, she could feel herself getting wet and anxious to be touched and she was losing her resolve so easily … and it at started again:_ this is getting good now…_

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**present, 35 minutes ago. **

"I would like to make a toast for this bastard right here, for being promoted to Senior Partner, the youngest lawyer ever to make it!" Naruto raised his glass and looked at his friends with a grin but stopped at the sight of a black haired man standing close "Although you got the job all the way across the globe before me, I'm still proud of your stupid ass! Good luck!"

The entire group cheered after him, even the ever so serious now-promoted-senior-partner couldn't help a smirk. The chatter and laughter continued like it hadn't been interrupted, the blonde quickly scanned the room in search of a certain missing girl but forgot about it as soon as we saw _his _girl.

Hinata smiled at her boyfriends antics, somehow he always manage to make everything a competition between Sasuke and himself. _Boys. _He joined at her side and hugged her waist. She kept on the smile, but couldn't stop the blushing, years into a relationship with the blonde hadn't help her control it; he squeezed her side and looked intently at her glass, the girl rolled her eyes back in response "It's just water Naruto-kun, don't worry". The blonde smiled and kissed her hair. Her blush deepened just a bit.

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**present, 1:23 hours ago. **

She had cried for nearly three days straight after Ino left. It wasn't as if he had broken up with her, they were not even an item.

Regardless, the medic was torn: one side of her was happy and _oh so proud_ of him for achieving so much at such a young age; on the other, she felt her heart was tired of waiting, ten years was a long _long_ time and she felt defeated and used and _unloved_.

Love couldn't move mountains, she realized, love couldn't take it all; love was a fragile thing, her feelings for the man had been deep and raw and so fucking strong… _with what propose?_

She applied red lipstick to her lips and checked her make up on the mirror. The amount of concealer she had to use to cover her dark circles didn't look that bad after all_, I just have been working until very late recently_. Still, her eyes betrayed her; they lacked their usual brightness and witty to them. She felt so exhausted and emotionally drained.

The first night she felt pure and raw anger towards the Uchiha. He had no problem with fucking her every night and then leaving her like it meant nothing, not a call not a single message; and she was equally stupid because when he showed up at her place unannounced days later, she would melt against his kisses and touch, _how was she supposed to stop him?. _That son of a bitch didn't even have the decency to tell her himself he was leaving.

"_Sakura… he got the job in America, he'll leave on Saturday. –I'm sorry, he won't be back for at least a couple of years. I'm so sorry Sakura, you don't deserve this"_

On the second night, she meditated: in hindsight, she knew they couldn't work, it wasn't meant to be from the very beginning. She hoped once for his love, even if it was just pretend. Now she knew better. He wasn't capable of giving back anything: he was so messed up; there was no space for her within his own demons. Not matter how hard she tried to battle them, it wasn't for her to fight them.

Just the night before, as she tried to fall asleep, she realized she would try and give up on loving Uchiha Sasuke, she would force it upon herself. She would forget and forgive him for his shortcomings; he never asked for her love, it wasn't fair to blame him for it. She knew the next day Naruto had a party planned for his best friend, she would attend and look pretty and say good-bye to the man of her dreams for the very last time.

_Nothing last forever._

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She gathered forces and smiled; only a sad one. She wanted to laugh at her own stupidity; there was no way out for them. No more wishful thinking from now on, she promised. No more looking back.

The sun had set and the city was cover in a dark grey hue.

She looked his way, avoiding eye contact; instead she focused on a point on the grey horizon. "I hope all the best for you, Sasuke, I truly do. Take care of yourself". The woman smiled at him one last time -sincerely- as she straightened herself and turned to head back to the party. Funny enough, she thought –as she walked- she would cry and beg him to stay or take her with him, but instead she felt nothing, just plain numbness in her heart.

"Sakura" his voice was deep and calm, as always. She didn't turn. _Say you will remember me, say you will see me again._

He paused. The sky wasn't grey anymore, it turned pitch black with no stars. Only the lights of the many buildings in the background gave some sort of illumination.

"Thank you".

She nodded; maybe he saw it, maybe not. Sakura accepted it and decided, from that moment on, it was not her concern anymore.

_say you'll remember me, even if it's in your wildest dreams. _

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. because we are all obsessing over the fact the SS is Canon and 1989 it's so Taylor and breakups, it just fits right in with this stubborn couple, and sometimes I can't even. Still, not sure about sad and vulnerable Sakura, but don't we all feel like that sometimes? I'm not sure about the ending. Felt like it was just plain miserable.

Should I continue it or should I don't?


End file.
